Overcoming the reluctance to ask for help

The pace of work in ASR can sometimes feel non-stop, making it difficult to ask for help. Wayne Baker, Ph.D. discusses this phenomenon in the article “How to Overcome Your Reluctance to Ask for Help at Work.” He shares that “70-90% of the help that is given in the workplace is in response to requests for help.” So if you’re not actively asking for help, then you are less likely to get the resources you may need.

Most individuals may face barriers asking for help, such as lacking psychological safety (“interpersonal risk taking”), not wanting to appear weak or incompetent, or assuming no one can help. Dr. Baker outlines one specific way to increase confidence in asking for help and that is through a thoughtful request. The components include figuring out your goal, making a SMART request (specific, meaningful, action-oriented, realistic, and timeliness), and asking the right people.

The mental wellness group recently discussed this article in a Q&A between members Melissa Gasper (OSF) and Amber Cellotti (OTR), which is available below.

Melissa: Many of the SMART criteria are things we have done in the past in both our personal and professional lives, which one would you want to improve on?

Amber: There’s two. Providing more meaning and timeliness. Context (i.e., meaning) around a request can help the other person suss out scope, where and how their skill set may play a role, and provide the opportunity to ask clarifying questions. Timeliness is key in giving those you’re asking the space to evaluate their own capacity and what time they can commit. The author shares that if a request is urgent, say so, but clear dates/deadlines are just as crucial. The combination of meaning and timeliness sets the stage for leveraging an importance/urgency matrix.

Melissa: Based on the business cycle at the University, when is the best time to make a SMART request?

Amber: Much of our work in ASR ebbs and flows based on our student’s life cycle (e.g., accepting financial aid, registering for classes, paying tuition, applying to graduate, etc.), so I think it’s important for us to be aware of peak times for our ASR units and colleagues, the ways in which we support students, and how our work is impacted based on those two things. So, there may never feel like a “best time” to make a SMART request, but if a request needs to be made during peak times, it’s appropriate to acknowledge the impact. On a personal front, it’s important to know and own your threshold and acknowledge when you need to reach out for help. Don’t wait until it hits the fan before taking action.

Melissa: Besides making your workload more manageable, what are some other advantages to seeking help?

Amber: On one hand, practice makes perfect. Putting intention behind action can be difficult, but practicing making SMART requests will make it easier with time. It’s never going to feel easy if you don’t start. The more we normalize the act of asking for help and being strategic in our approach, the more it is embedded within our culture. I’ve also found that reaching out for help, and being on the receiving end of being asked for help, is another way to make new connections and establish relationships not only in ASR, but across the University.