Jokes from popsicle sticks

Some ASR staff recently shared a few laughs over jokes found on popsicle sticks. Are you able to crack any of these?


Where does a catcher sit down for dinner?
Behind the plate.


What do you do when your fish sounds bad?
Tune A Fish


What kind of snacks to computers eat?
Micro chips


Why did the birdie go to the doctor?
He needed some tweetment


Where did the elephant store it’s suitcase?
In its trunk


What is the most musical part of the turkey?
The drumstick


Why didn’t the hockey player want to pay for dinner?
He was a cheapskate


What kind of boats do vampires like?
Blood vessels


How does the ocean greet the beach?
It waves


What gets wetter the more it dries?
A towel

Why is it a bad idea to work for elephants?
They pay peanuts


What gets whiter as it gets dirtier?
A blackboard


What kind of call does a marathon runner always make?
Long distance


How many apples grow on a tree?
All apples grow on a tree

Changes to cost of attendance page

The cost of attendance page on the One Stop website has some changes to note:

• A new estimated cost of attendance chart for 2018-19 
• A simplified cost of attendance chart for undergraduates (with actual COA figures) 
• A new page dedicated to COA for graduate students

These changes are the result of feedback from students and staff, with an effort to make cost of attendance information easier to find and use.

How do you like to be recognized?

As part of responding to E2 (employee engagement) survey results, we are reviewing methods to recognize employees for a job well done. Please take five minutes to share your recognition preferences.

While it is not guaranteed that all methods of recognition will be available all the time, it is the intention for supervisors and directors to review these results so that recognition can be based on preferences.

Merit compensation

The Regents have approved a 2% compensation pool for civil service and P&A staff.

Eligible civil service and P&A staff who were hired before January 1 and earned a 2 or 3 on their performance appraisal will receive a 2% increase. (Bargaining unit increases are determined by the relevant contracts.) Staff who earned a 3 will also receive a non-recurring lump sum.

Merit increases should be effective as of June 11, appearing on the July 4 pay date according to the pay period schedule.

Each of you contributed to a great year in ASR. Thank you for all that you have done and continue to do!

Personal pronouns and gender identity in MyU

Students and staff on all campuses are now able to share personal pronouns and/or a gender identity through the My Info tab of MyU. Sharing personal pronouns and/or a gender identity is optional. Here are some resources for additional information to share with students when needed:

• How-to guide on One Stop website - z.umn.edu/genderidpronoun_howto (navigate onestop.umn.edu > How-to guides > My info > Set personal pronouns and/or gender identity)
• Additional information on One Stop website (navigate onestop.umn.edu > Personal information > Pronouns and gender identity) 
• Additional information in MyU - z.umn.edu/genderpronounmyu

Academic calendar changes

The Faculty Senate has approved moving spring break forward one week starting March 2020. This results in the final Monday of A-term being after spring break.

As a reminder, spring 2019 will change from 74 instructional days to 70. Fall and spring semesters will have the same length going forward, and there is room for an additional study day for students in the spring term. The full calendars for 2018-22 can be viewed on the University Senate page.

ASR Picnic and Silent Auction

Every summer, ASR has a picnic and holds a silent auction to raise money for the Student Success Fund. At the auction, everyone will have an opportunity to purchase tickets (cash only) and bid for items. All money that we raise from the ticket sales go to the Student Success Fund.

The items in the auction come from ASR staff and we are ready to collect donations. You can find all of these details on the ASR Intranet Events page.

Picnic details

• Thursday, July 26, 11:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.
• Bruininks Plaza
• Catering TBD
• Please accept or decline the event invitation on your Google Calendar so we can plan for food ordering. If you have new staff between now and the 26th, please invite them to the event.

Drop-off locations for donations

• Bruininks Hall - room 3571B (Julie Selander or Nate Peterson can receive)
• Williamson Hall - 160b (Eleanor Pijut’s office)
• A donation form must accompany the item you are contributing to the auction. Print and fill out as needed.

In the past we have auctioned items like wall art, backyard games, gift baskets, IOUs for baked goods, handmade items like knitted mittens, board games, etc.